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TOP 10 SEX POSITIONS...


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#1 Sexylicious

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Posted 25 June 2003 - 09:23 PM

TOP 10 SEX POSITIONS...


1. The Tea bagging sex position- The all time classic maneuver of tapping your cock on a chick's forehead whilst she is sucking on your balls, & uttering the timeless phrase- "Who's Your daddy?"

2. The Houdini sex position- Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to come, then pull out & spit on her back so she thinks that you have. When she turns around a blast is unleashed into her face & she is left shocked & amazed, wondering how you managed it.

3. The Angry Dragon sex position- Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head & make it come out her nose. When she gets up, she'll look like an angry dragon.

4. Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch sex position- The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat & then proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of your favorite carbonated drink, making her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back & forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.

5. Dirty Sanchez a.k.a the SHOCKER sex position- A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggy-style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out & wipe it across her upper lip, leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.

6. The Donkey Punch sex position - Banging a girl doggy style & then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass & then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis & give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.

7. The Flaming Amazon sex position- This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, pull out & quickly grab the nearest lighter & set her pubes on fire, then extinguish the flames with your jizz!

8. The Flying Camel sex position- As she is lying on her back & you are hammering her on your knees, you very carefully move forward & prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vertical seafood taco. You then proceed to flap your arms & let out a long shrieking howl, much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move

9. The Screwnicorn sex position- When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead & proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

10. The Zombie Mask sex position- While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, & moaning like the walking dead.
Like A Bottle of Fine Wine...I Get Better With Age =)~

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#2 Matts World

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Posted 25 June 2003 - 09:24 PM

hahahahahahahahhaha

#3 DjJohnnyGunz

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Posted 25 June 2003 - 09:25 PM

GREAT F-U-C-K-I-N GREAT
MEAT
imagine claiming to be a dj and only playin one kind of music LOL

#4 ILuvDrama

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Posted 25 June 2003 - 09:27 PM

Gross.
Kiss the kissers, love the lovers and play the players.
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

It's OK to kiss a fool, or to let a fool kiss you....but NEVER let a kiss fool you.

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#5 ou812

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Posted 25 June 2003 - 09:35 PM

So how many of those you try Sexy???
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"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"There?s an old saying in Tennessee, I know its in Texas probably Tennessee too, that says ?Fool me Once......shame on......shame on you??......Folmuah can?t get fooled again"- G.W. Bush

#6 NJSicilianAngel

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Posted 25 June 2003 - 09:37 PM

lol those were bad, funny.....but bad!
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It doesnt matter where you get your appetite from, as long as you eat at home!

#7 Sexylicious

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Posted 25 June 2003 - 09:37 PM

So how many of those you try Sexy???

hahha so far zero...how about you try one and let me know how it went....lol :lol:
Like A Bottle of Fine Wine...I Get Better With Age =)~

People Are Gonna Talk About U Especially When They ENVY U & The LIFE U LIVE...Let Them..U Affected Their Lives..They Didn't Affect Yours...

Great minds discuss IDEAS, Average minds discuss EVENTS, SMALL minds discuss PEOPLE!!
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#8 DjJohnnyGunz

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Posted 26 June 2003 - 06:58 PM

My all time fav is well, lets just say I'd rather show you-
MEAT
imagine claiming to be a dj and only playin one kind of music LOL

#9 italia819

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Posted 26 June 2003 - 07:29 PM

:gross1:

#10 ItalianStud4Life

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Posted 26 June 2003 - 09:02 PM

Thats some crazy shit

#11 BunkaBouncer

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Posted 26 June 2003 - 10:36 PM

Tea baggin, that is the only one i have done....

That list is funny as shit, leave it to Sexy to come up with this shit lol...
Who gives a Fcuk ?

It's all mind over matter, I dont mind b/c u dont matter!

#12 AQUAGIRL

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Posted 27 June 2003 - 12:02 AM

hey guys :) Tantra is all about brewing passion and sending your partner into nooky nirvana. You must create a carnal atmosphere. A place that you and your partner really connect. Design your own libido lifting shrine. Once you and your partner enter this Tantric temple, you'll be in for a down and dirty divine time :rolleyes: !!! Before you start stroking and spooning you must be in sync with your partner, its all about rythym and communicating what each of you want. Balance creates good sexual energy, so does freshness and fantasy in the bedroom. Find a partner who is willing to revive and satisfy your sexual desires...when you do ( or already have one ) try these positions, they are pretty creative and intense...
:)

The Passion Python


How it's done: Your partner lies flat on his back; you straddle him and lower yourself onto his penis. Then slowly stretch out so you're lying straight on top of him, aligned limb to limb. Holding his hands, extend your arms out to your sides and lift your torso like a snake ready to strike. He keeps his feet flexed so you can push against them with your toes for leverage.

Why you'll love it: With his hands squeezing yours, your breasts pressed to his chest, and your thighs starting a fire against his, you two are sexually skin-chronized, which promises to stoke your raging romance. Plus the back-and-forth friction created when you push with your feet means you get consummate clitoral contact as you bump and boogie against his pubic bone.

The Sensual Spoon


How it's done: Assume the spoon: Lie on your side with your guy behind you. Both of your torsos stay in this doze pose while you lift your top leg and he shifts his lower body into a half-kneeling position, entering you from behind.

Why you'll love it: This half doggy-style, half spooning hybrid combines the cozy intimacy of lying side by side with G-spot-rubbing rear entry. Plus, both of his hands are free to caress your curves and stimulate your clitoris.

X Marks the Spot


Hot how-to: Lie back in bed (or on any soft surface) with a pillow under your head. Bring your knees up to your breasts and cross your legs at your ankles. Your guy kneels right in front of you, leans in, and pulls your hips onto his angled lap. Keep your thighs glued together and gently press your feet against his chest for leverage as he slowly enters you. You can stroke his thighs as he moves back and forth with steady, ultrasnug thrusts.

Why you'll love it: What makes this carnal connector a triple treat is the fire-starter friction created by crossing and clamping your legs together. That super rub-a-dub means more sensation for you both. Plus, this compact pose increases your ability to contract your PC muscles (which when tightened can intensify his pleasure) -- guaranteeing an especially intense climb to a body-shuddering climax.

Sound intriguing?
PS- Alcohol, caffeine, marijuana, nicotine, and sugar reduce sexual performance as well as stress.

So the weekend is almost here...
A dream emerges from the watery depths of the subconscious. In her dream she is a black panther, a completely sensuous, intuitive, instinctual and passionate being who is a part of nature. The panther watches and waits for the right moment to act, knowing just how to take care of itself. Upon awakening she resolves not to abandon the wild woman within.


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Always AQUA

#13 RICO SUAVE

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Posted 27 June 2003 - 03:30 AM

hey guys :) Tantra is all about brewing passion and sending your partner into nooky nirvana. You must create a carnal atmosphere. A place that you and your partner really connect. Design your own libido lifting shrine. Once you and your partner enter this Tantric temple, you'll be in for a down and dirty divine time ;) !!! Before you start stroking and spooning you must be in sync with your partner, its all about rythym and communicating what each of you want. Balance creates good sexual energy, so does freshness and fantasy in the bedroom. Find a partner who is willing to revive and satisfy your sexual desires...when you do ( or already have one ) try these positions, they are pretty creative and intense...
:makeout:

The Passion Python


How it's done: Your partner lies flat on his back; you straddle him and lower yourself onto his penis. Then slowly stretch out so you're lying straight on top of him, aligned limb to limb. Holding his hands, extend your arms out to your sides and lift your torso like a snake ready to strike. He keeps his feet flexed so you can push against them with your toes for leverage.

Why you'll love it: With his hands squeezing yours, your breasts pressed to his chest, and your thighs starting a fire against his, you two are sexually skin-chronized, which promises to stoke your raging romance. Plus the back-and-forth friction created when you push with your feet means you get consummate clitoral contact as you bump and boogie against his pubic bone.

The Sensual Spoon


How it's done: Assume the spoon: Lie on your side with your guy behind you. Both of your torsos stay in this doze pose while you lift your top leg and he shifts his lower body into a half-kneeling position, entering you from behind.

Why you'll love it: This half doggy-style, half spooning hybrid combines the cozy intimacy of lying side by side with G-spot-rubbing rear entry. Plus, both of his hands are free to caress your curves and stimulate your clitoris.

X Marks the Spot


Hot how-to: Lie back in bed (or on any soft surface) with a pillow under your head. Bring your knees up to your breasts and cross your legs at your ankles. Your guy kneels right in front of you, leans in, and pulls your hips onto his angled lap. Keep your thighs glued together and gently press your feet against his chest for leverage as he slowly enters you. You can stroke his thighs as he moves back and forth with steady, ultrasnug thrusts.

Why you'll love it: What makes this carnal connector a triple treat is the fire-starter friction created by crossing and clamping your legs together. That super rub-a-dub means more sensation for you both. Plus, this compact pose increases your ability to contract your PC muscles (which when tightened can intensify his pleasure) -- guaranteeing an especially intense climb to a body-shuddering climax.

Sound intriguing?
PS- Alcohol, caffeine, marijuana, nicotine, and sugar reduce sexual performance as well as stress.

So the weekend is almost here...

MUCHACHA............THAT WAS THE MOST BORING THING RICO EVER READ.........ENGLISH NEXT TIME PLEASE YOU DR. RUTH WANNABE..............

~RICO~


:) :rolleyes: :) ;) :chuckmoon: :chuckmoon: :chuckmoon: :chuckmoon: :chuckmoon:




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